Shrinkfor
My office is in the same building as a psychologist’s office so I’ll occasionally pass by a patient in the hall on the way to the shared bathroom. I recently overheard a teenage boy on the way in with his Mother express his insecurity about their up coming appointment. The brief exchange got me thinking about what is really important that a teenager know and that a parent know. Following some brainstorming I came up with the list of questions I would ask a teenager to make sure he or she is on the ball. The answers don’t matter because a teenager is going to do whatever they want regardless. The questions ate probative and are intended first to make them think and second to open the door to dialog with their parents.
* Do you exercise? Ride a bike? Skateboard? Rollerblade? Wear a helmet?
* Do you smoke? Do drugs?
* Are you having sex? Is it monogamous? Are you being safe?
* Do you express yourself creatively?
* Are you happy with your life?
* Do you respect your parents?
* What’s the most urgent thing about them you would want to change?
* What’s the most important thing to them about you that they would want to change?
* Do you study? Do your homework?
* How often do you think about these questions?
This is an elaboration of what my dad calls the high five - the five things that matter - questions to ask first thing in the morning:
* Did you wake up (duh) and are you healthy?
* Is your significant other awake and healthy?
* Are your kids (family) awake and healthy?
* Will there be food on the table tonight?
* Did you pay the rent or mortgage?
If you answer yes to all five, you’re ready to start the day knowing that everything else is a trifle. I’ll follow up sometime with questions to help transition from the first set to the second (i.e. questions for a young adult).